Day Twenty-Nine

Day 29 – Your aspirations 

I aspire to become an author, even though I do not really believe in a big success. I also aspire to have a circle of friends who would devote their lives for me and will be there for me when I need them. Why I mentioned this? Because most of the people who are "friends" with someone are nothing more than people you sometimes have to do with and you go out to drink with. And this isn't what friendship should be all about, but well, that's another topic.

And of course I aspire to become the ruler of the world. What else? B)

Day Twenty-Eight

Day 28 – Something that you miss 

The money in my pocket. Seriously, when someone has a hint where I can find it, I beg you, please! I don't care if it is dead or alive, but I wish to know where it is! I've missed it for so long already! :'(

:P 

Day Twenty-Seven

Day 27 – Your favorite place 

My wheelchair. I spend there most of the day, and not only to sit in front of my PC. :D I also sit there to read or to phone with my friends or to just sit there, listen to music and look around, not really doing anything, not even thinking. My wheelchair is over 5 years old, I think, but he doesn't look that old! He's very comfortable and has a neutral look. He wasn't expensive, rather very cheap, and I'm positively impressed that he isn't crumbling yet. :D When it wouldn't be that uncomfortable I'd even sleep while sitting on him. ^^



Note how I unconsciously used "he" and not "it" to describe it. I'm really attached to him, obviously. ^^; 

Day Twenty-Six

Day 26 – Your fears 

To lose my fantasy is my greatest fear, I guess, as it is the only thing whick keeps my alive in this stupid world. I don't know what I'd do if I'd suddenly lose it, every last bit of it. Of course I also fear to lose every person dear to me, but hmmm, that isn't such a big number. :D

Day Twenty-Five

Day 25 – A first 

My first breath. Phew, I guess that was really hard. I mean, the womb was so warm, I had all I wanted and except for kicking and boxing I didn't have to do anything. And then, suddenly, there was this bright light and I took a deep breath and shouted as if in agony. Man, I guess I was pretty pissed that time. <.<

Day Twenty-Four

Day 24 – Something that makes you cry 

Usually I'm no person to cry. Still, I'm very sensitive to music and it's sad music which makes me cry. Not every kind of sad music, though, mostly it's sad classical or overall instrumental music where I may start crying (Aerith' Theme from the FF VII: AC soundtrack, for example, made me cry). It's very rare that I cry, though, even thouch I'm listening to sad music. As I said; I'm no person to cry after all. ;)

Day Twenty-Three

Day 23 – Something that makes you feel better 

Writing stories, or at least making them up in my head. There is nothing more claming than using my fantasy as much as possible. When making up things in my head I am able to escape this triste and boring world and go to world where I want to live and where I would like to exist. Do not fear (or hope), I do not mistake my worlds of fantasy with the real world. I'm not naive. I know that this world in which I'm writing this post right now is the real world I live in, as crappy and boring and horrible as it might be. But whenever I feel to distressed from this world I think of the worlds I created up until now and the worlds I might create in the future. These worlds of fantasy are my children, and I'd be bad father if I'd not get happy when thinking of my children.

Day Twenty-Two

Day 22 – Something that upsets you 

Oh dear! Glad to read "something" and not "everything". Since that'd be to damn much to enlist!

What really, really annoys me is the moral decline which takes place in my generation. It's totally okay to talk about sex and stuff with your friends, really totally acceptable. But when they are sitting in the assembly room where everyone can listen to them and they enlist who gave who a blowjob or whatnot and when I hear them kicking morals to their utmost pleasure, I wanna puke! Horribly and cynically paradox is the fact, that the girls laugh about sexistical stuff like "Yeah, and then I'm gonna fuck her all night like the bitch she is!" I mean, seriously! Always exercise emancipation here and equality of genders there -and then they laugh when the boys openly degenrate the girl's body to nothing more than meat to fuck!

Great, now I ruined my mood...

Day Twenty-One

Day 21 – Your favorite movie 

Well, there are quite a few to name. For example there are the two "Iron Man"-movie. They're so damn funny and I especially like the protagonist, Tony Stark, since his cynism, arrogance and narcissism somewhat reminds me of myself. :D There story, as shallow it might be, is also inscinated in a pretty good and funn way.

Then there's [REC]. This movie creates a very claustrophobic feeling and really shocked me from time to time. Even thouh the ending is not a big surprise, the rest of the movie really was thrilling and caught my full attention. One of the best horror movies out there (I, though, do recommend not to watch the sequel. It's baaad).

Finishing my top three is "Bleach: DiamondDust Rebellion", the second Bleach movie. It is a very emotional and strong movie without being cliche or something. The story is very catchy and well-thought and gives more colour to the character of Hitsugaya Toushirou, who I think is one of the best Bleach characters. The movie itself is also very well presented, and all these things make it the best Bleach movie so far. I've got high hopes for the next one! :D

And I really can't decide WHICH movie is my favorite one! >_<

Day Twenty

Day 20 – This month 

This month very young yet, and most of it has already been explained in the 'My Week'-Day. Since I'm too lazy to write that all again I'll just leave it, you can read it again, if you want. :P

Aside of that, I got some exams back. For the first, my C+ in German Class. When looking at what our teacher wanted us to write in our test, I'm negatively in awe. Damn, there's a reason for me not having voted for the German Advanced-Course. ôo But the same day I got my A- in History Class back, best exam of not only all the course, but all the grade as well. B) Together with my oral mark I'm most likely gonna get an A the first half of class 13, only though if I continue with these grades. ;)

Setting this aside, nothing big happened. I only received the message that my preordered version of CoD: Black Ops will not come the day they promised it since many more people ordered it at that company than the company has games. So I need to wait, even though they didn't tell me how long. ôo

Day Nineteen

Day 19 – Something you regret 

Not confessign to her that day. Damn, how stupid have I been? O_o And up until now there's been no other chance to do so, and I don't know if there'll ever be another chance. Furthermore, I simply do not know if I can bring myself to confess to her at all, not (just) because I'm shy, but also because she's the sister of a good friend of mine -and I don't know if he'll kill me when I end up dating his sister. o_O

Day Eighteen

Day 18 – Your favorite birthday 

Mine, of course. :3 It's, after all, the only birthday where I have the power to say where I want to go, where I do not have to pay for anything and where I can say what I want to eat. :D Just all those fake greetings from the people around me, who usually disgust me and now wish to pretend to be the good guys, are a little annoying. But I learned to ignore them. :D

A lot of Days missed :D

So I've gotta do all of them now! :D

Day 13 – This week
Day 14 – A childhood picture
Day 15 – Your dreams
Day 16 – Your last kiss
Day 17 – Your favorite memory 

This week has been nothing that special so far. I've been at a friend's place from Saturday till Monday -1st of November is a free day in most parts of Germany- and we were gaming nearly nonstop. :D Then my mother, my sister and I cleaned our barn up a little. Yesterday nothing in particular happened, I just wrote a Biology exam and ... well ... Lemme say it like this; I wrote things down. For every task. Yes, that I did... :3 I also managed to finally try out "Fable", which is an awesome game so far!

There was also nothing big today either. I went on a walk with my mother and our dogs nearly 45 minutes and came home just like 15 minutes ago. It really is a lot of fun to walk around when it gradually becomes darker, and walking in the dark is the most fun! :) I still have to do homework, though, and have to go to work in 90 minutes or so...

I won't post it here since I don't know where it is. But it shows me with 5 or 6, my hair as bright as the sun itself, a yellow so powerful it nearly is white and clear, blue eyes. I'm making a very disapproving face, wrinkle my eyebrows and my nose and all my face says "No. Simply no.". I can't remember what I'm holding in my hands, but I remember having a swing behind me, and that it is a very bright day in summer. My body is covered with a red, thin T-Shirt, whereas blue short trousers cover some parts of my legs. I do neither know when or for what reason this foto was made or I'm making this face. I just can remember that picture very clearly. :)

What kind of dreams? My dreams about what I wanna become are easy explained; I wanna become the ruler of the world, and if that's impossible I wish to become an author, at least as a side job. Then I wish to have an easy life, but not a lazy one. I wish to be challenged, but in a fun way in my life. I also wish to meet a woman I can spend my life with, even if that's pretty hard considering my attitude and how others perceive it. :D

My dreams at night are mostly extreeeemly random~ I remember that I once dreamt that I'd walk off a bus, look to the right, look to the left, see nothing but desert, look to the right again, also to only see sand where has been a street before. And then I start walkign until I woke up. I mean, wuttufukk? O__o

That was nearly two years ago with the girl who was my girlfriend at that time. We were standing at the train station, it was December 30th, and it was pretty cold. We stood there hugging each other to warm ourselves up and waited for the train. We were laughing and whispering just like the childish people we were, and we were talking who will come to visit who next. As the train appeared she got away from me, smiled at me lovely and gave me a kiss which warmed me up more than the hug before. After I replied that kiss she got on the train, turned around and waved at me smiling.

That time I never thaught that this would be the last kiss I'd receive from her. We never met afterwards as she broke up with me three months later.

I cannot deny that I love the memory of my first kiss, of some other very delightful things which happened to me alone, with friends or with my girlfriend. There are a lot of memories I treasure deep in my heart, and some of them help me to get up when I'm on my knees and about to completely fall. But the memory I treasure most and above everything else, the memory which is like none other able to cheer me up, to make me continuing smiling and struggling, this is the memory of the final dot I placed under my first short story.

I think it was four years ago, and it was in school. We had a lesson where some people from a University explained some things to us, and it was indescribably boring. I had written several stories before, but they ought to turn into longer stories -which never happened, to be truth. So I sat there on a cold November noon, was physically appearent and wandered of into the realms of my fantasy. Then, suddenly, the idea or "The Gleeman" popped up in my head. Not once before I thought about writing a short story, and there he was! The image of "The Gleeman" appeared in my head just like light appears when turning on the light, and it was intense like the sun! Not hesitating even a second, I pulled out some sheets of paper and started writing and writing and even more writing. After nearly 90 minutes I finally put the last dot at the end of the last sentence, and I felt relieved and full of energy and happiness at the same time. I clearly remember having to suppress to tremble. I think I never before have been so happy as I was at that very moment when I finished the first step on a long way, the first step towards the me I'm now; An author.